SCAR

Written by   on   May 12, 2017 / 39 Comments

SCAR

 

I was vulnerable with you.

Loving you made it so.

Seeing my helplessness, 

You trampled upon my heart

As cattle herd on lilies in search for food.

Time is the greatest healer they say,

Years on, and the wounds only fester.

Deepening with years and it's healing no longer in sight.

 

Cursed be the day I met you

And the day the 1st slap came.

First it was a mistake, then a fault of mine.

I cowered in fear; it must be something I did.

The beatings became part of me.

Chioma, Arinze and Ebuka the names of our kids aborted by your brutal dealings.

With the final strength, in me, I gathered my belongings for it was time to go.

No more to be admired by my fellow women for mansion and finery.

I choose to live again. #end domestic violence 

 

CHIEZUGOLUM ODILINYE MAY 2017

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Comments (39)

May 28, 2017

Kevin Ezeoke

I think its apposite to say here that This piece is an exposition and condemnation of the domestic violence in our homes.I wish to lend my voice to yours chizzy in condemning This societal illl that pervades our homes.Employing violence in settling domestic issues a misnomer which must be curbed by sensitizing families on the need to shun domestic violence and enlightening the couple and children on their respective rights,duties and obligations.I commend the author of this piece for her articulateness and mastery of factors that culminate into this specie of violence.it's my fervent and confident hope that with all hands being on decks this social vice will eclipsed on our social millieu.Thank you.

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May 20, 2017

Ginikachi

The awareness on DV is improving by the day Let us not relent in speaking out against it. This issue distorts the family pattern, leaving all (spouses +kids) traumatised. The kids especially night begin to see it as normal such that the cycle continues when they become adults. Let us never tolerate DV in any form, be it husband to wife or vice versa, wife to househelp, in-laws to the woman(happens) etc. Apart from societal condemnation, it should also come from the pulpit or from the Mosques. Teachings on the family should be encouraged. You hardly see family seminars, even when there is women are the majority folks therein. Most men avoid marraige and home seminars or teachings like it is a plague. This imbalance affects the family unit such that core values are lost. Building a home is NOT just a Woman's affair. God help us.

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May 20, 2017

Onochie

Nice piece... However, I think the crux of the matter is how do we put an end to domestic violence? These are my suggestions: 1. Publicity: Victims of domestic violence should stop hiding it. They should speak out. We should publicise the evil of domestic violence as adverts, in novels and in movies. 2. Education: We should teach our children in the home and in schools to be civil, to love themselves and to love others too. 3. Our society should not be lenient on perpetrators of any form of physical abuse. This should begin in the home and in school. Come to think of it, have you heard any 2 staff fighting in an organisation when they know they can be fired for that?

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May 18, 2017

Oreal

Its such a pity DV is on the rampage these days. Its more than barbaric. It shouldn't even flash through anyone's mind to be involved in such. There's no medal or trophy at stake, even if there is WWE adviced "please don't try this at home". #saynotodomesticviolence

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May 18, 2017

Ifeoma.

No child deserves his/her life to be so acutely altered by such experience. Aside the physical pain and risk of loss of life of the victim, there are other attendant psychological consequences to the children of such relationship.(let's bring it closer to home) Imagine having to witness your mum or (dad in rare cases)being repeatedly hit with so much hate and venom all in the name of marriage. I must repeat, no child deserves such experience.

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Aug 01, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

Brilliantly said Ifeoma. The psychological effect on children is just too much


May 18, 2017

Bubbaspaxx

Nice dear, but I don't know some questions need to be answered....Why do people stay in abusive relationships? Both men and women..... It's wrong for any reason to hit your partner. May we all get the strength to leave abusive relationships irrespective of whatever nice things the relationship affords us

Replies(3)

May 27, 2017

Justin Ifeanyi

Its better walking away instead of walking to d grave.

May 27, 2017

Justin ifeanyi

Considering their investments in a relation is myopic in my own opinion . this is because Ur greatest investment in a relationship is Ur existence-ur life. When Ur life is continuously reducedto nothing .......so what's d investment that u are protecting?. It take Ur life to protect anything

May 18, 2017

Chizzy

I guess it's because people feel the have invested a lot to walk away


May 18, 2017

HMC+

I thank God for who you were and who you've become. Keep it IJ

Reply(1)

May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

Many thanks HMC


May 18, 2017

HMC+

Awesome choice of words... Nice piece....

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May 18, 2017

BelaChris

Thanks dear for this concise piece. Its only a coward that'll resort to beating his wife. The numbers keep rising daily. & someone would finish beating his wife leading to her miscarrying their child, & somebody will now say "stay& fight for your marriage". My dear, better to move out &pray from a safe distance.

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May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

Indeed I agree Bela


May 18, 2017

David Aguns

Nice

Reply(1)

May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

Thanks


May 18, 2017

Emmanuel Charles

Violence is never and will never be a solution to any kind of conflict resolution be it domestic violence. So I wonder most times, if you think like we claim we are the man of the house, we should also be man enough not just to bear, tolerate & be considerate with out wives to also resolve conflicts calm, warmly and peaceably with not just our wives, everyone around us without any form of violence even as little as mustard seed. If we believe and claim the grace of God is suffient for us in other spheres of life, then it is more sufficient for us to be at peace with all men, anywhere, anytime, any day and under any condition even if its hereditary it can be stopped. #NoToDomesticViolence

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May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

Well said Emmanuel


May 17, 2017

Nsoanya Mercy

No reason is justifiable for domestic violence. #Say NO to domestic violence.

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May 17, 2017

Amara (Esq.)

#saynotodomesticviolence. So many lives gone, dreams bathered and kids left to lives of mysery! Once there's a first day, there will always days...months...years & then grave. "...it must be something i did" the ugly thing about domestic violence is u dnt hv to do nothing, a beast will always be a beast regardless. So ladies, pull out! Stay alive & raise your beautiful kids. Pls dnt send them into the hands of Jazebel. Please dnt stay in that house praying for his deliverance cz u might be sent to meet Jesus untimely, seperate & then continue believing God for his total transformation; coming from a spiritual perspective, u can't make heaven if u r in a home where u r violated cz u will nurse pains, hurt & grief. The victims are no better cz they are emmersed in all forms of trauma, their self esteem is zero and they struggle to raise healthy & well balanced kids. Please lets send the message #saynotodomesticviolence #enddomeaticviolence. It can start as early as educating toddlers not to hit their sisters or friends at school or even raise their vioce at them even before they get to age 5. Domestic violence is EVIL! Thanks Engr. turned poet 4this outcry. More grace ????

Replies(2)

May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

Amara, well said as usual . The psychological damage is often too severe. It raises $in some cases) another generation of predisposed kids

May 18, 2017

Muna Ugwudi

Very well said! It baffles me how some women even take the beating as a sign of the man's love....


May 17, 2017

Chika Okafor

Nice one dear. Violence does not solve the issue but makes it worse. I say no to domestic violence

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May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

It never solves anything dear


May 17, 2017

Nkem

When Christ is involve. There will be no crises. Nice one dear.

Replies(4)

May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

Thanks for that Muna. Nkem, indeed that what Christ admonishes but does every believer practice that?

May 18, 2017

Nkem

@Muna,Pastors beating up their Wives? Christ never teaches us to beat up our Wives. Matt 5:9 God blesses them that seek for peace...

May 18, 2017

Mazeli

Yeah, because all the cases of domestic violence so far has been from unreligious homes...

May 18, 2017

Muna Ugwudi

Haven't you heard of pastors beating up their wives?


May 16, 2017

Debby

I cannot even shout oh! Once sef, you no go get the chance. It is well.

Reply(1)

May 16, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

My dear, it's not something to be imagined


May 15, 2017

Anonymous

Great one! Doesn't matter what u did or didn't do. No one deserves to be beaten by their partner. #NOtodomesticviolence

Replies(2)

May 18, 2017

obinna

And no one deserves to be verbally abused constantly by their partners.. That is a greater form of domestic violence. Rob your partner of peace of mind and drive him to the brink of HBP and heart attack. We're so interested in the physical abuses because it's visible.. I bet if we can measure the effect of the mental abuse component of Domestic violence, you'll understand how severe and dangerous it is. And nobody is talking about it

May 16, 2017

chizzy odilinye

well said Anonymous


May 15, 2017

Nnamdi

It took you a long time to leave....

Reply(1)

May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

I guess it did


May 14, 2017

Dinma

Very nice piece. ????????

Reply(1)

May 18, 2017

Chizzy Odilinye

Thanks Dinma


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